Growing up in Wales as a child I knew that being gay and staying in rural Wales would not be easy, hence being one of the reasons I left for the big city - Cardiff, and then London as soon as I could. At the same time I had the view that over the Atlantic in America things were far more accepting, and far more liberal. So its rather off that in a week when the hate filled fascists of NOM led by Maggie Gallagher have succeeded yet again in removing a human right from the gay residents of Maine, that tonight on S4C I have been watching a Welsh language sports quiz, the audience full of Welsh rugby lads and laddetts where one of the teams is captained by an openly gay rugby referee.

I'm not living in a fantasy land that Wales has become a gay nirvana, but it is nice to think that it is become far more open than it was two decades ago when I left tis small coastal town.

Wales here I come.

Off back to see the folks in a moment. Typing this to kill time before leaving the house. All packed but appear to be taking as much stuff with me as I do when I go to New York, then again I am taking two coats - one for wet weather, one for cold. Each one is good for what it was designed for but not so effective for the alternative - I don't think I will be needing a warm weather jacket .

moans and gripes

well just the one. I am off to wales tomorrow for a week the land of no wifi and the house of no internet.

So thought I'd try out tethering my iphone. Can I find out on the O2 website what to do, can I buffalo. As a website it is so lacking in functionality.

Sunday samples

• Happy November - although it is oddly still warm enough to walk out on a Saturday afternoon (ok it was in October) in a short sleeved shirt! and even last night I walked home from Duckie in my shirt sleeves.
• Woke up to the sound of rain, heavy wet rain. Wanted to stay in bed by 11 am was approaching and that wouldn't do.
• Two days left of work then a week and a half away from the office much of it in Wales. I think they have forecast rain.
• Rather disappointed that the Zombie Film Pontypool is set in Canada and not Wales.
• The Miso Soup lunchtime diet is having an effect, I can pretend to be a South London youth and wear my jeans round my buttocks.
• I am disappointed I had no need to be a grouch last night - no Trick or treaters came near the house. Not that the door would have been opened.
• I am clean shaven again for the second maybe the third time this year. I had to change the blade as it was such a long time since I last denuded my face of all its hair follicles.

Queer question time

After the vigil headed off in a Black Cab in the direction of the RVT for Queer Question time, an event which tragically coincided with the event at Trfalgar Square as a result everything had been pushed back an hour or so.

Five panelist with Amy Lame playing the role of David Dimbleby. Angela Eagle MP and the country's most senior (only) out Lesbian politician, Andrew Boff London Assembly Member (and that most bizarre of creatures a Gay Tory) Peter Tatchell, Mark McCalmont (the singer) and Tim Teeman (of Times and owner of a very sexy pair or eyebrows).

Questions were mainly on political issues of the day with gay rights theme. On the whole the panel expressed me, particularly Eagle and Boff. In fact Boff became dangerously near to become an even rarer creature - a sensible gay Tory, he spoke a lot of sense about the Nastiness of the Daily Mail, sloppy use of language by BBC journalists when it comes to reporting news regarding child abuse, the way in which the BNP works at trying to make it's views acceptable (which in my view is actually similar to the way in which the Daly Mail pushes its agenda), he lost it a bit when trying to defend Boris are not so lovely Mayor. Angela Eagle - there with her wife, another victim of the Daily Mail homophonic agenda, defended the government's Gay rights policies, and rightly stated that Conservative opposition in the House of Lords was a barrier to putting Anti-Gay Hate Crime on the statute books. Tatchell did well but I still don't fully understand his views on Gay Marriage / Straight Civil Partnerships, and I'm not really keen to further explore the possibility that Nick Griffin is actually a big closet case. He was also the only one in the hate crime debate to bring up the issue of anti-Trans hate crime, he named a recent victim, and only a handful knew the name and understood the significance. I wasn't one of them. After the rather nasty piece against the Trans community written by so called lesbian feminist activist Julie Biden yesterday, he put over the message that T in the LGBT is often overlooked by the first three quarters of the term.

The star of the evening however wasn't anyone on the panel but the Lesbian who confronted Nick Griffin on Question Time, by telling him that he may be repulsed by gay men kissing, but that he could be assured that the feeling was mutual.

After the questions we had some music of to be honest dubious quality - it certainly wasn't a get up and dance selection. But we then had Dickie Beau who did a marvelous act dressed up as Michael Jackson, complete with baby.

I hope they do something similar again, but next time without the tragic backdrop of Trafalgar Square.

Hate Crime Vigil

Last night I went along to Trafalgar Square for the anti-Hate Crme vigil following the senseless killing of Ian Baynham, by a gang of homophobic youths.

This was a first for me and I would like to think it could be the last.

Unfortunately there has been a recent upsurge in LGBT hate crime recently or at least a reporting of them by both victims to the police and in the media. Although a brief scan of the web suggest that this wasn't a story worth reporting this morning except for this on the BBC. I am happy and indeed hopeful to be corrected.

I arrived at about 8.15 and teh square was already full, as full as was four months ago when perhaps a great majority of those attending had just arrived after taking part in this year Pride March. Then the mood was one of fun and enjoyment last night was naturally more somber. I heard a few speeches - Sandi Toksvig - who delicately brought a touch of humour to the proceedings, and the former priest in charge of St Anne's the parish church of Soho, who talked about the 1999 Admiral Duncan bombings, the horror of which I will shamefully admit had not really sunk in until last night. It was at this stage when a woman just in from of me got rather agitated and started being rather venomous about the Catholic church, rather missing the point that a Female priest was by definition going to be Anglican and not a follower of the pope. It was also sobering to hear about the fact that despite the the fact that 25% of gay men and women have been victims of hate crimes in the past year, that in other parts of Europe, Ukraine, Lithuania, Bulgaria it is much worse. There was also a choir unfortunately being in the open air and the lack of amplification meant that they were at times inaudible, but the occasional gentle sound doming from the steps leading up to the piazza in front of the National Gallery added to the atmosphere. Unfortunately I was unable to hear a friend of Ian Baynham's read out his sister dedication to her murdered brother.

The 2 minute silence was very moving - 120 seconds to contemplate and think. The sight of those attending raising their candles aloft added to the feeling of sadness. Sue Perkins the read out the names of victims of LGBT hate crime over the past ten years.

The whole thing also made me realize that I have been generally lucky, I was never a target in school for being possible gay, and in the whole 16 years in London I have only had one serious encounter with homophobic abuse, and even then the target was less me and more my then boyfriend.

I am glad I went it was not a night of anger, that should be directed elsewhere but one of sadness, and I really hope that I will not have to attend one of these again.

Drink up

As always my home town Cardigan only makes it in the news if something grim has happened.

This time the anti-fun police are out to get you.

Now I have no objection to making any where a nicer place to live - how many times do I moan on here about the fact that I think that having Stockwell Park high School as a neighbour is a huge pain, which would be alleviated if the headmistress actually engaged with the community and actually got her pupils to behave.

But this is ridiculous. The fact that Church leaders are getting involved is a bit suspect - although in the late 1980's the sons, daughter, grandchildren of local preachers were already drinking in pubs before the age of 18. Apparently the aim is to make the town more attractive i the evenings, but what on earth would anyone do. Cardigan High Street is no trendy Clapham, The shops are almost all closed by 6, there are no restaurants besides a Chinese and a couple of Indian Takeaways. The only reason people go near the high street at night is to drink, and with so few other sources of entertainment this drinking is going to be quite hard core.

If I was back in Wales there is one word I would use and that would be Twp.

Thursday treats

• left work late enough (but not too late) to enjoy a walk home in the unseasonably mild weather, accompanied by the moonlit sky, and a full river. Lovely - one of the best things about London.
• Recruiting is a pain, I'm surrounded by job descriptions, job applications and related paperwork. Any more and I'll be drowning in paper.
• Not looking forward to Saturday Halloween. The local youths will pretend they are American for the evening and partake in Trick or Treating. As always the door will be kept shut the blinds will come down the curtains will be drawn, and the lights will be switched off.
• I've eaten four big tubs of Ben and Jerry's in a fortnight - I think that is enough for teh rest of the year.
• I've now watched Shirley Bassey at the Electric Proms 3 times in four days. I couldn't really be gayer could I?

Brighton

The clocks went back on Sunday morning, this could have meant an extra hour in bed, but I think it actually meant an extra hour of drinking! After a night of gin guzzling, ended up eating wild boar sausage and drinking Cava with some friends.

Next day it was a trip to Brighton, taking part in a jail break (well a hospital break), left Vauxhall at 12.20, and was back home by 8.00 so much of the day was actually spent on the train. But the time spent at the Seaside was well spent. Lovely company, and really nice food - at the Amsterdam. With a name like that you can correctly suppose it was gay. The food was nice, in fact for a pub lunch it was very nice.

Didn't really have an opportunity to do much whilst there, so my next sentence will be based on very little experience. But I really was glad to get back to London. The sea view was nice but ...

Warm isn't it? And it' set to get warmer up to 19 later this week. A bit ridiculous, it's the arse end of October , the clock have gone back. But walking home along the river with the brown leaves along the ground in a thin jacket is just wrong. I want to start wearing my heavy winter coat, or at least my dirty old man rain coat.

Racists, Nazis, bikes, buses, oil rigs and money

• I might not like him or his party but believe that the BBC is right to have Nick Griffin ( who I admit to mixing up with chubby carton character Peter Griffin) on this evenings Question Time. Back in the 80's and 90'S Sinn Fein were banned from appearing on the news as Mrs Thatcher believed that to allow it would provide them with the oxygen of publicity. I remember the words of people like Gerry Adams therefore being spoken by actors. This I thought was wrong. To deny the odious BNP the right to voice their views on our screens is equally wrong. Too much Oxygen can be fatal, and this could hopefully be the result of tonight's Question time. Giving him the opportunity to hang himself with his rather ill-educated ideas may be just the ticket.
• However people are always going to be attracted to the wild and whacky, so I think the protests outside the BBC could have been counter productive, and although I hope the show will show him up, the publicity will I'm sure attract far more viewers than otherwise, which could play into the BNP's hands PR wise. Far better in my view would be just not to watch, giving it a miniscule viewing figure. I'm also not watching as when ever I see his face on my screen I want to throw a brick through it - so my health actually comes first.
• I walk to work most days, but if necessary - hangover, running late, or wet weather I take the bus. I can do this as I live only a couple of miles at most from the office. Over the next few years if I live in the same area I may end up walking more, or if I move a but further out lets say Clapham, or Brixton, I will become just a bit poorer. Why Boris Johnson, thinks its a spiffing idea to make bus journeys more expensive, and at the same time because more expensive buses mean people use them less to cut down the frequency and number of buses. It's OK for Boris he rides his Bike everywhere, and with the chicken feed he gets for his Telegraph / Spectator columns can afford a decent car (which is why I presume he wants to scrap the Congestion charge) And I actually think that I despise his Transport Advisor Kulveer Ranger even more than the Buffoon from Henley. I wonder how often he gets out his Oyster card? Or is this just a rehash of the policy pursued by Mrs Thatcher who sid that a middle aged man who used buses was a failure.
• One of my neighbours apparently isn't. Although I regularly see the Liberal Democrat Peer Lord Rennard at the South Lambeth Road bus stop, he actually lives in a pokey flat in Eastbourne, his rather grand House in Stockwell is his second home.
• I walk home along the Thames, and between Westminster and Vauxhall there has recently appeared a mini oil-rig type structure. It never stays in the same place long though, everyday it appears to be in a different place. What is it? I fear it could be a mutated breed of Tripods ( Quadrupeds) on an advanced mission to invade earth.
• I have this week spent £8.50 - quite pleased with myself. Although getting fed up with Miso Soup for lunch. Thankfully everyday this week someone has either brought in sweets and other goodies, or I have been in meetings which have been supplemented with biscuits. Also of the four Pret coffees I've had this week two have been free.

Two Soups!

Miso soup for lunch

Cauliflower soup for dinner

Made carrot and chickpea soup for two meals.

I'm turning into the soup dragon.

Unfortunately can't find a decent picture of the friend of the Clangers

On the upside managed to spend only £1.50 all day - thanks in part to a free coffee from the fabulous Pret guys.

Sunday snippets

• Find it rather depressing that there have been two shooting just round the corner in the last few days.
• This is the last week of British Summer Time, next week the clocks go back - lighter mornings for a while but darker evenings.
• Only two and a half weeks before I have some proper leave. Ok going back to West Wales is not a proper holiday but it's a break, time to see the family and everything
• I survived the weekend without dying of Gay, a fear which Jan Moir had planted in my head.
• Best Jan Moir joke - her resemblance to Billy the Fish (the fottballing piscine from Viz)
• My T-shirts are showing Madonna like midrift's a sign that I need to shed quite a few pounds.

This week's menu

A dull autumnal day in Stockwell- I went out in my overcoat earlier although I think it was a bit too OTT for late October, another couple of weeks maybe.

When not out, been cooking - lamb tagine - looks OK so far slow cooking in the oven as I type. Alos waiting for some chicken stock to defrost that will become either carrot or cauliflower soup.

That should be enough food to last me until the end of the week I think.

Ice cream - part 2

Friday night in. Thermals have been dug out of their summer hibernation. Sat in front of a fire. Eaten a good quarter of to Ben and Jerry's Phish Food , and a third of the Half Baked. No wonder i don't loose weight.
That and the two bottles of ale.

Fuck you Jan Moir,

Read through this blog and you will find the odd comment related to the hateful bile of the Daily Mail. It's a paper that I avoid reading if at all possible - even when I'm at home visiting my parents who are regular readers I refuse to read it if possible even touch it. I briefly went through yesterday's edition when at the opticians and felt rather sullied especially when I scanned an article which appeared to be a criticism of Sarah Ferguson. (aka Duchess of York), that was an article written by Jan Moir. Never heard of her before never thought I'd hear of her again.

Then today's issue came out, and the Twittersphere exploded, only days after it had been fixed after the Transfigura / Carter - Ruck debacle.

Jan Moir wrote what was either an ill-conceived, badly written article on the death of Stephen Gately (ex of Boyzone) or a pile of deliberately thought out vile drivel.

On the eve of his funeral Ms Moir chose to question the word of his family and coroner suggesting that his death can not have been anything but Natural causes. (The exact headline has now changed following on overwhelmingly negative responses on the website, the poisoning having been dampened slightly). For a supposedly educated woman Ms Moir was unable to get her brain round the fact that young men and women die young, without the involvement of drugs, alcohol or whatever.

Then there was the fact that when he died he and his husband had a friend staying with them. Yes a male friend who they knew. But no Ms Moir had to make it all sound sleazy after all gays are sex obsessed and are like it like rabbits when they have the opportunity. In short Stephen died of Gay. mixed with glittering hedonistic celebrity. Somehow by bring in the late husband of Matt Lucas into the equation she also managed to have a go at the concept of civil partnership.

I can't imagine such language being used to describe the institution of marriage when Jordan and Peter Andre split, or even when the father of the current proprietor of the Daily Mail Lord Rothermere was himself supposedly involved in an adulterous affair. Or perhaps that's ok as it was all very heterosexual.

It all left a rather fecal taste in my mouth, and I would have posted a link to it, but even this blog is probably giving the odious woman far too much oxygen publicity wise.

But to the rescue comes Charlie Brooker, with his reposte on the Guardian website.

There is also thanks to the fabulous Mr Brooker a couple of screen grabs of the offfending headline and the more anodyne versions when the shit hit the fan. After and before

Almost 12 hours later twitter and facebook is still twittering with this, some of it sensible, some outraged and some unfortunately negating Jan Moir's homophobia with equally horrible misogyny, she has attempted a mealy mouthed apology but at the same time claims that it's an orchestered campaign. Which is of course rich considering that what the Mail attempted with Jonathan Ross in the wake of Sachsgate.


Of course in a few days all this will be over, and we can then concentare on far more serious forms of homophobia such as the murderous attack on a 62 year old gay man in Trafalgar square.

Day off part 2.

Another day off, but feel rough. Slept fitfully - odd dreams, noisy banging coming from other parts of the house. Now full of snot and a sore throat so my voice is a few octaves lower.

Actually the last of those is a side effect I like, but could do with out the bunged up feeling

I scream, you scream,

We all scream for ice cream.

In the absence of gin, and I'm not that desperate to break my no alcohol at home during the week rule to us Lucosade as a mixer, I've been eating ice cream, a huge pot of Panna Cotta has been stuffed down in two days. However yesterday was not so much about screaming more about crying.

I was home waiting for the Tesco delivery to arrive - mostly bin bags, washing up liquid, and loo roll. But there was also ice-cream. I thought I had ordered a few large tubs of Ben and Jerry's various flavours and everything.

It was a huge disappointment when I realized the only order I had placed was for a single 150g of Carmel crunch. Where was the Phish food, the Cherry Garcia. Not on my order thats for sure.

Maybe it was a good thing. I need to loose a bit of weight so carrying them back from the shops my self will give me some exercise.

Eye can see clearly now

Two days off, had a bit of a lie in - if getting up at 8.30 can be described as a lie in.
Headed into town, and ended up having an eye test.

I had actually booked an appointment for this coming Tuesday with David Clulow, at the Victoria street branch but having experienced such a hard sell by the assistant when I only had gone in to book a test put me off. In fact I liked a friends description of the staff in David Clulow stores as being similar to hyenas around a zebra carcass.

So instead I headed off to 20-20 Vision, which were far more agreeable to my request to be left alone when looking at glasses.
Being mid-morning, mid-week, they were able to fit me in there and then.

I last had an eye test in 2005 - this shocked me somewhat when the zebra eater told me, as I was thought it would have been no later than 2005, today's optometrist expressed surprise that my rimless frames had lasted so long.

Things have changed since I last had a test which was in a darkened room looking at a huge board. Today I had my eye pressure tested, my retinas photographed, The test was in a well lit room, and involved looking at a computer screen.


Now have a week to wait before the new specs are ready.

Not exactly cheap, and having bought two pairs more expensive than possibly necessary, especially when the lenses are factored in, but the eye test at £25 was good value.